Doing Marriage God’s Way, Part 9 — Ephesians 5:28-30 (Revive the Family, Revive the Church, Awaken the Nation, O Lord #33)

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A series of homilies on Ephesians 5 & 6

A homily is “a short talk on a religious or moral topic; a usually short sermon; a lecture or discourse on or of a biblical theme.”


I am sharing a verse-by-verse series of short messages on Ephesians 5 & 6 (as well as other passages of Scripture) specifically targeted at reviving families and encouraging and exhorting husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children to do what God has commanded them to do, for if the church is to be revived and the country is to be awakened, the family must be revived first.

Ephesians 5:22-30:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Ephesians 5:28-30: “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.”

Albert Barnes said, “These Scriptures make use of language which is stronger than that employed to describe any other connection; and there is no union of affection so powerful as that which binds the Christian to the Saviour. So strong is it, that he is willing for it to forsake father, mother, and home; to leave his country, and to abandon his possessions; to go to distant lands and dwell among barbarians to make the Redeemer known; or to go to the cross or the stake from simple love to the Saviour. Account for it as people may, there has been manifested on earth nowhere else so strong an attachment as that which binds the Christian to the cross. It is stronger love that that which a man has for his own flesh and bones; for it makes him willing that his flesh should be consumed by fire, or his bones broken on the wheel rather than deny him.”

Leonard Ravenhill said, “Do not we rest in our day too much on the arm of flesh? Cannot the same wonders be done now as of old? Do not the eyes of the Lord still run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those who put their trust in Him? Oh, that God would give me more practical faith in Him! Where is now the Lord God of Elijah? He is waiting for Elijah to call on Him.”

As Paul begins to close this passage, he emphasizes the union of Christ and the church as it relates to the union of the husband and the wife. Speaking of Christ, he says, “We are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.” Here he is speaking to both the husband and the wife, assuming that both are Christians, then they are both members of the body of Christ. They are an integral part of the church. They make up the flesh and bone of the Saviour in a union that will never be torn apart.

Just as Christ and His church are tightly bound together, so ought a husband and wife to be bound together. They should see themselves as one — unable (and unwilling) to do without the other until God calls one of them Home.

Part of the problem in our society today is that people do not take marriage as seriously as they used to. Some people, before they get married, get a contract drawn up delineating who gets what amount of their assets if they get a divorce. How can you be serious about your marriage succeeding if you are already planning for it to fail? Some people go into marriage not understanding what it means to be one. Yes, you might still have your own interests and your own goals, but if those interests and goals drive you apart then something is wrong. God will never give two of His children whom He puts together in marriage individual purposes which cause division and separation in the marriage. Here again for this oneness in marriage to work the way God intended, someone has to be the head and someone has to submit both in mutual love and respect. To try to do it in any other way is foolishness and ignorance.

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